Poem of a (once again) broken heart

I cannot do this
I can no longer fight.
I feel like i can't breathe.
I feel like I'm dead inside.
He is going to leave me.
He promised he wouldn't.
My dreams won't come true.
My heart is broken.
Once again i sit here and cry.
Once again, i have to get up and live this awful lie and tell everyone i'm fine.

One forever

His kiss is soft but urgent.
His arms wrap around me tightly.
I run my fingers through his hair
As our bodies melt into one.
He sees into my soul.
I see into his heart.
We are one. We are forever.

Yup, still rubbish!

Seeing the world from a piece of paper.
It's strange, unnerving to see how small we really are.
Where we go, what we do. It disappears in the minute of two.

(yup, i definitely have writers block. My poetry is crap as if you couldn't tell!)

No Good

I'm having serious writers block so i can't think of anything new to post (or at least anything that's remotely good) so I'm gonna leave it for today an hopefully I'll be back with some cheerier news/poetry.

Heartbreak (cont.)

A year passed, although it was without his love, it was not completely unbearable. Yes, there were times when he wanted to stop exploring the world, curl up and cry until his heart stopped aching but he didn't. He explored, gathered experiences and he lived on. One day though, he was reunited with the prince who had abandoned him. When they talked he discovered that the prince had his own adventures to go through and his own dragons to battle and was sorry for abandoning him... (i realise that this is one crappy fairytale so I'm gonna skip to the ending now) .... And they all lived happily ever after.

I don't know...

I don't know what to do,
Where to go,
Who to turn to.
I don't know who i am,
Who my real friends are,
What i want from life.
I don't know where i'm going,
What i'm doing
Or why i feel this way.

Your best friend

They'll hold your hand and keep you warm
They'll protect you from this storm
They'll pick you up when you feel down
They will always be around.
They will understand, love and care
So be there for them and treat them right
Because they are the ones that shed the light
on your life.

(Dedicated to my best friend, who is totally awesome.)

Accepted

I lie awake at night, but i do not think of you. Instead i think of new beginnings and college and my future. In these thoughts, i see children, a marriage, perhaps. I see loyal friends and a successful career. I see happiness and also sadness, because you cannot have one without the other, but this does not bother me anymore, i have accepted it. I see beautiful scenes of romance and trust. I feel the warmth of a fire and smell the first day of spring. I know i will be happy and i know i will be loved. I do not regret the time we had and i do not regret the time we did not. I have accepted what has been, what will be and what could be. I have accepted what will never be.

You...

Your best friend's in trouble, she loves you and feels more for you than you can feel for her, but in your own way you love her too. She wants you to stay and just listen, but even that feels too much, she brings back memories best forgotten. She's dying right in front of your eyes. She's said goodbye, she meant it at the time but she didn't go through with it, thank god right? But it's getting too much, you feel like you're drowning, like you're dying with her. She offers you a way out. You wouldn't have thought of it before, but you take it. She goes back on it, says she actually wants you to stay, but you can't, you're confused, mixed up. Things slip out. You ignore her because it's for the best. You make up with her, the next day she rants at you because you're cold and distant but it's too soon for you to talk about what happened. She storms off, she apologises but the stress has put you through too much. You decide to switch off and pretend she isn't there. Months later you see her again, she looks like a ghost, you want to reach out and hug her but you can't. You mumble a thanks when she lets you pass in the corridor. Next day she is glowing, laughing and you only see a glimpse of the old her, the one that nearly got away. You steal glimpses at her to see if she's really there, she has changed so much and achieved so much. You don't think she even knows you exist, you won't see her ever again. Should you talk to her or shouldn't you? You can't decide.Please leave comments as to what you think of this character! I really want to know!

heartbreak

Once there was a guy who had been through so much in his life and yet remained joyful and full of hope. He had friends he thought hhe could count on and loved them as though they were his own family. But one day they turned nasty, betrayed him and left him out in the cold. Suddenly the world didn't look so positive. He got lost in a world of nightmares and loneliness for years that seemed like centuries. But one day he became hopeful again,but he realised that life wasn't like the fairy tales, a prince on a white horse wasn't coming to save him from the miserable cold that he had become trapped in. He had to make his own path in life. Despite this adventure scaring him, he decided to take on the challenge. Along the way he met a handsome prince and couldn't believe it when his fairytale came true and he saved him from the remaining demons in his life. But what he didn't know was that he would betray him as well and push him back into the dark, he became alone again and swore never to trust another person. To this day he remains cold, silent, indifferent and without a care. Will he be able to learn how to trust and accept another persons help again? Or will he go through life alone but protected from heartbreak? Watch this space.

For once, i think

For once you did not plague my dreams last night
i think i am free
For once i see a light inside my life
I think i feel a whole lot better
For once i do not wish that i could hold you once more
I think I'm over you
For once i am the one walking away
I think it's for the best.

This is my last sad song/poem (although i make no promises!)

Every time i dream
I dream of how we used to be
every time i pray
i pray that he will be OK
And every time i think
he pops into my head
like an old friend
visiting before the end.
What would we be like
if we had not been betrayed
by each others hearts? I do not know
I want to though
i want to turn back time
i want you to be mine...

My dream...

...Is that one day he will find me. One day he will come home. One day he will take me in his arms and tell me that he has missed me. One day i will discover the other half of my family. One day i can say the word "Dad" and mean it.

I'm not ready

I'm not ready for the world outside.
I keep pretending but i just want to hide.
You're the reason the fire's inside.
But you're not enough to stop me standing still
I wish you were but i just need to feel
Alive of my own will
I'm better for knowing you
But now we just need to chill
I need the space to clear my head
I think it's time we put this to bed.
Thank you but goodbye.
I'll see you around sometime.

Break and broken

A heart cannot break when it's already broken.

you and i

You sit there and you look so alone
you sit there and you laugh
but i know you do not mean it.
I see you in school, you don't mean to
but you act like you know it all.
But i heard you when you said you couldn't cope with the work
i heard you when you said you couldn't cope with emotions
just what can you cope with?
I feel for you because i know how it feels
to be abandoned, to be betrayed
We are so alike and yet so different.
We will never be apart. But we will never be together.

My advice

Do not give up.
It always gets better.
It doesn't matter if your best friend left you
Or the guy you like doesn't like you back
there will be other friends and other guys.
Just hold on through the pain.
I won't lie to you, you may never get over it.
But the pain does lessen over time.
i promise.

Moving on

I am happy
I am free
I have dignity's arms protecting me.
I have sweets
where you have lemons
I am moving on
and i can see
now i don't have your comments surrounding me
(short poem there about moving on, got a bit off track towards the lemons and sweets bit but oh well.)

Pain

Today my heart broke
Today i let myself get hurt again
It's time to put on the make up which masks my face
and cover up who i really am
It's time to put up the barbed wire around my heart
it's time to give everyone the stony glare
It's time to hide

My heart always reacted to heartbreak with immunity
today that power wore out
and I'm left standing in the rain
filled with nothing but the pain

Poetry of the damned

It's not fair.
I don't know who i am.
Why do i feel this way?
I'm never able to be myself. Not really.
There's always a piece locked away.
A secret i won't ever say.
A lie i'll never reveal.
I made a mistake. It cost me everything.
I'll never be the same again.
No one knows who i really am.
He thought he knew me, but he didn't.
She thought she saw me, but she didn't.
What they thought they knew and saw was a shadow of what was real.
Of what i really feel.
I'll never fit in. I'm an outsider. For that i thank God everyday!
Who wants to be cool when that includes getting drunk, smoking and screwing around?
But why does being an outsider have to be so hard?
I am different. More different than you know.
That's the point really... You will never know. Because i will never tell.

I drew this picture as i would have drawn it when i was five because i wanted it to remind me of my childhood - the one i didn't really have. Because i had to grow up so quickly and become a carer and deal with alot of crap. The writing reads "The inner child who is no longer innocent."

As of today...

As of today i have red hair, not brown
As of today i will have a stud in my lip
As of today i will have a deadly fierce look in my eyes
not the innocent one you're so used to seeing.
As of today you will no longer be the one i trust
As of today i cannot love but i must
for the old saying goes: It is better to have loved and lost
Than to have never loved at all.
Can i trust someone again or will it all come crumbling down
As of today i just won't care
As of today I'm just the guy with the stony glare

Hey y'all

This blog is where i'm gonna post anything creative. Enjoy!